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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?